January & A Finale

1. Its been the most unhealthiest January ever..when its done I shall document what ive eaten..less than 11 hours to continue the trend..
2. I got a twitter account :-O! @frownprince :P
3. So many people have left already..Ernest, Denise, Bryan, Jie Hwa, Qing Han, Sean..many more to come soon..sigh..
4. My Kl streak is still going on! Every week since sometime in July! Havent done so for this week! I have less than 11 hours to make it there!
5. I have a new bed *snooze*
6. I turn 22 in less than a month. Sigh.

I need to run now! Glory glory Man United (tonight)!

MMIX/2009

As you`ll have seen from the title, im here to say something about what in 4.5 hours, was the year that was 2009.

I came into the year with generally high hopes..maybe it was sparked from something else apart, but riding that wave worked just as well for me and it sure brought me for a ride.

It brought me to places I never expected to go, doors I never expected to enter, meet people I wouldnt have hoped to meet, known people better than previously and so much more.

While I do sound generally optimistic here, I must admit the above was juggled very finely with other stuff...disappointments, personal turmoil, uncertainty..despondency..its been dramatic to say the least.

I guess people who know me well enough know how I live my life..I either bother to live it up and fast or just not bother..but im sorta coming to a middle ground. Unlike other years, its been..tiring..too tiring really. Ive spent the last 2 months living it slow but even then I dont think im ready to step it up another notch.

This years flown so by. In fact every just flies by faster and faster. If this year has gone just like this, I cant imagine how 2010 will go. I hope its not so fast..or even worse painfully slow and excruciating.

I`ll always remember early this year like it was yesterday. Countless hours in college, 5 subjects, numerous plates of fried rice eaten, never ending rounds of cards and the people around me most importantly. I wont say names but I think they`ll know if im referring to them for sure.

Like I said earlier, I dont feel like myself anymore. Ive kinda gone moody now, needing a spark to ignite the compelling side in me. I feel apathetic at best now. I guess perhaps thats not the worst thing in the world. Perhaps lesser expectations for the coming year..and in some sense, an open tone to the new decade.

But hey its been a good year..made new friends, voyages to new places, learned to love my city more, relationships, finding lots of good music, improved my studies, better health, coming up with tentatively feasible plans for the future, technological advancements, learning new things, reading again and everything else my rather charmed life has brought.

But at the same time, bouts of depression, bad days, mood swings, losing more friends to newer pastures, relationship issues..that sorta stuff has kinda put a damper on the year. Overall, its been mixed at best.

To make things worse, I never really blogged much or even listed anything I did. Ive had plans for the last 7 months to update some stuff but nothings happened and probably wont. So I guess its time to stop promising that I will update. I guess im past that stage about telling what I do and moving on to what I feel.

Its been a year..for growing up and maturing. It came so sudden; those smacks in the face, kicks in the teeth, shots to the foot..all that. I can at least say theres been some people to metaphorically hold my hand through it all and perhaps more realistically held my head. But it was all bound to happen and its good that it did during this year..as difficult as it was to deal with. At least ive re-found another side of myself which I thought was gone..

I dont know what the biggest lesson ive learned this year is yet. Perhaps its resiliency; or being able to solve your own problems without taking other too for granted. Self realizations have become more important than I thought..maybe thats it.

I guess this what they call growing pains.

New years resolutions? Not really but some stability would be nice..

Til then, I would love to thank everyone for being a part of my life til today, whether it was in the past or this year and for the good or the bad. Without all of you, I dont think id be half the person I am today. Maybe one of my failings is to tell this to people enough. I love all of you, in some funny way or another.

So Happy New Year 2010 & a happy start of a new decade. May the new year/decade bring new opportunities, better changes and happiness.

I`ll be out somewhere tonight. Not sure where, but call me anytime, and you`ll find me where.

Now What?

Its been a while and yes, I am alive. It may have taken a while for me to muster up any effort to confirm this, but at least..at least I have..

So how am I?

I don't know honestly..my life lately specially..or well lets make that the whole year, has been..rather topsy turvy..upside down, 360, yeah you name it, all that.

Whether the next statement is for better or worse I am unsure and will likely never be sure, but one things for sure,

I don't feel the same anymore.

A Flower Told Me :

"I dont care if your fine or not, go get some rest!"

Such a sweetheart.

29

It is now the wee hours of the 29th and I am soon to attempt to make an affogato, but before that..

Remember how I said I had this big 26 in my head, related to the date of the 26th of November, with the big iCal icon in my head? Well guess what. I have one more, a big fat 29 for the 29th of November.

I have nothing in the day but a long night ahead of me. And well lets just say after how the 26th transpired, i'm not exactly taking anything for granted anymore. Although ill proly be as unprepared as ever if anything happens.

Now here's espresso flooded ice cream to that not happening!

26

Today..is the 26th of November 2009.

And for some reason, stuck in my head for the last few weeks is today's date, complete in iCal style. (The icon of the flip over calender dates, with the month in the red bit and a big 26 on the white part, go find it if you dont know how this looks like)

And to make things worse, I have absolutely no clue why. I however do have a long day coming..

I dont see anything out of the ordinary happening..but if such an event occurs, ill be hoping for something good...like the food I had yesterday :)

The Song That's Changed My Life

Warning : The following videos may not be for the faint hearted..

And if your up for it, the video for Try Try Try originates from this short film (the ending is different as well) :

I've had this song for about 3 months now and im sure ive listened to it anything from 500-1000 times. I honestly don't know why but for some unknown reason I feel as if this song has changed my life. And no, it has nothing to do with the drugs. I wish I could say why but I honestly don't know why..Its just one of those songs..there's something about it..it hasn't changed my thoughts or how I think but there's just something about how it makes me feel..

Musically its brilliantly composed. The video fittingly matches it psychedelic sounds. The lyrics are so poetic and heartfelt. I personally don't know why this Smashing Pumpkins song isn't up with the more acclaimed 'Tonight' & '1979'. There's a 'happier', less emotional version of this song, but I personally thing its awful and just ruins it.

Start stop,

What's our mission?

Skinned knees,

Try to hold on..

Honestly, I can't imagine my life without this song..

Disequilibria

According to The New Oxford American Dictionary :

disequilibrium |disˌēkwəˈlibrēəm|nouna loss or lack of balance or stability

Examples :

• Misquoting prom ticket prices as Rm1000 per ticket, in quick succession.
• Misreading "Hey party people I posted something on how to get to prom on the blog", as " Hey ppl I posted up something about the after party on the prom blog" and getting pissed after finding something different specially when none of its even been discussed.
• Tripping over a chain that needs to be crossed over, although fully concentrating not to trip over it, because it looked like it was moving violently when it was perfectly still and only a few inches high.
• Making horrifically uncharacteristic grammar & spelling mistakes on writings which everyone will see.
• Continuously writing the date and month correctly but list the year as '2010'.
• Sending a back pass to a teammate against your own goal post during futsal.
• Missing an open goal but score during a kick in, which doesn't count.
• Going home extra moody in the middle of college to avoid spreading moodiness to others and return to find an evening class canceled yet smile and go for tea
• Thinking your driving further away from the city when actually your going towards it.
• Parking your car near place A but walk to place B without realizing it and end up walking one big circle to place A when it was just behind the car.
• Nearly texting "Are you going to the meeting", as "Are you going to the movie" , because everyone around you was talking about a movie.
• Almost posting this on the prom blog.

For The Love Of Thursdays

I was at Capsquare last Thursday having what was a surprisingly good day and the closest thing to an off day, in the midst of my maddening schedule. I suppose I was being repaid for my love of Thursdays.

So I was at the doctors to pay him a visit and see what could be done about my not-too-worrying-but-moody sinus issues. I must have been in his office for 20 odd minutes, quite long for a none too serious problem, but it wasnt the consultation that lasted that long.

He asked me what I was doing, so I answered that I was doing a media studies based degree in mass communication. He nodded and then proceeded to ask me more. He said he had relatives in the field but never could quite ask questions and casually discuss it, without getting a simple reply.

So I proceeded to answer some of his questions about the basic things about the industry and how broad it is. He also asked things such as how much does newer forms of communication affect the more traditional forms of communication and the industry as a whole. I answered him, not as a pro but the best I could muster.

I probably could have answered better under different circumstances, but honestly I was taken aback about how he seemed so intent to hear what I had to say and dare I say, learn something new from me. He also added in his opinions and it became a discourse which I never expected to happen. It felt really good that he just sat there taking in my opinions, not interrupting until I had finished and freely asking questions as if he was a student or someone attending a talk. It felt so good to be able to have such discourse with someone of a different background, even if briefly.

While waiting to have lunch, I took a walk around the place and I observed how dressed down I was compared to everyone else there. Capsquare is of course full of offices and right in the middle of the city, full of office workers from everywhere. And of course most people were dressed in standard office wear. I looked at myself and noted how casual I felt compared to everyone else. It reminded me of the times I was working and how I was able to go to my office dressed casually, as compared to everyone else whom were so formally dressed. Of course it felt good that that I could gloat about my free dress code as well as the merits, comfort wise about being able to dress down.

But at the same time, I felt jealous. Jealous how everyone there was part of the working world, earning their own money and likely already self dependent. Jealous how their clothes entitled them to almost say "Hey, I have a job which makes me a professional and thus I have to dress the part, so pay me some respect". Its like they're walking advertisements of themselves and announcing to the world the status which they have.

I could almost feel the stares on me as I looked so out of place, but there were no stares. Everyone was too busy minding their own business, getting on with their own work & lives. And for a moment I felt just like another face in the crowd. The awe I felt for my surroundings almost matches the feeling I felt when braving Sydney's rush hour pedestrian traffic.

I noticed how everyone seemed so chatty and eager to tell a story or talk about something work related. As I sat down for lunch, I saw the tables just full with employee's around the area. And its Capsquare i'm talking. Not exactly filled with the cheapest restaurants in the world, meaning hey, everyone must be doing well enough to eat here, even if that day was their once in a while sort of day. It really made me notice how people are going places and i'm going almost nowhere.

I don't eavesdrop on people, but I can't shut off my ears, and when I heard all those people talking, I just wished I could join them, to submerge myself in their world and open my mind to something new and broader than what its capable of right now. I'm not sure id hit it off at first with everyone, but im quite sure if I had the chance, I could hold my own. Sure idle issues and less serious matters does make for enjoyable talk but there's so much more out there. So much more im missing out on and that hurts.

And it was that moment that made me wish I was done studying and already working. Im quite sure ill regret saying this, but I really do. But sigh i'm some time away from that.I guess for now ill just enjoy all the perks and hiding place that studying provides. But I wont forget the feeling of that moment and ill hold myself to it until I get there.

House-warming

If you like Late Night Alumni / chill out, house music suitable for late night listening, then you`ll love Samantha James.

Her 11 track 2007 debut album 'Rise', on top of slow, relaxed paced but still movable beats, showcases her soothingly melodic vocals, perfect for the senses to unwind to late at night, after a long day.

I just downloaded her album and I wish the night wouldn't end so I could play it over and over. Give the following a go and believe you`ll be hooked like me! Thanks Debbie for the recommendation! Mes likes ours goods musics sharings arrangements!

So moving on, because im very itchy and love clicking

on Last Fm's similar artists tab, my clicks led me to Dj Colette. More than just a pretty face, her brand of house is more upbeat and more suited to the dance floor rather than the lounge.

Taken from her album 'Push', is 'About Us' .

And from dreamy looks to dreamy voices, i'm off to dream of them woooo!

Write Right

I've always had a little thing for writing, although these days its more in the form of button-mashing and watching certain characters and figures appear upon a lit screen before my eyes. Sure there's many little plus points to this, none more than the ability to cover up my manual writing skills which is a source of little joy, particularly when it matters.

I've figured the best thing it does is help to alleviate my mind of things. Sure its not really helpful when what is on my mind is some major essay, one being done hours before its deadline, but i'm finding it more therapeutic than normal.

I've been doing quite a bit lately and have much more to do (and we aren't talking about assignments yet), and while its not about something I really wanna write about, its helping..to distract me..to get my brain moving..to teach me something..to something I don't know what is..

I`ll admit, im a pretty horrible writer. I can assure you, ill spare the reader of my work any major grammatical or spelling errors. Nothing which makes me seem as if my language command is awful. But I do have that knack of excluding the keyword, specially when its just a simple, barely significant word in length. Id love to say if its a verb or an adverb or similarly related 'thing' that is missing, but I'll admit im not very sure what those are..and it sucks that I dont..I never remember to read up on it neither can I remember them when I actually do..

So coming to back to things, I could never write a news report yet alone a feature report. When I read features, even if regarding a topic I could care less for, it leaves me breathless on how its worded, its style, the order of the contents, how it seems so casually informal yet formal and vice verse. Writing such things is undoubtedly beyond my capabilities..at least at this point of time..and by the time I ever figure out so, I would then begin to ramble on how people can write books when I struggle to write a paragraph of words..

I have friends who can write so effortlessly. They express what they want to say in maybe 5 lines or a paragraph, using such simple words in an even more casual manner yet leave a lasting impression and that, blows me away like a lead in the wind.

And here I am, ranting about what, I dont know; for reasons that remain unknown. Heck this isnt even close to what I planned to write when I opened this. Now im not even sure or my original intentions.

And oh here I go expressing myself in ridiculously long lengths, when I could have done so in 5 lines. I would do so if I knew how..but if I were to have a sudden epiphany on how to, Id save for later cause it wouldn't make sense to waste all this..specially at 4:42am..

I also feel that what i'm writing is becoming redundant..but then again im going out of topic only to go out of topic even more to admit I am going out of topic and then venture further away from the original matter to admit...nevermind...

Cough, Cough

An excerpt from Me & Nash talking earlier :

Me : Are you high now?

Nash : No wtf..I might be tomorrow though

Me : Why?

Nash : Long day la I want it to past by quickly..

Me : When are you gonna progress to harder stuff?

Nash : Duwan

Me : Why?

Nash : Keep it simple

Me : Screw yourself la you cant afford that stuff bitch!

Lesson to be learnt : Cough syrup cures more than just cough..for some that is..

Thank You!

I'd like to thank everyone who managed to come for my open house yesterday on such short notice! It was really nice to see everyone after such a while. Pity not everyone I called could make it.

While i'm notorious for not knowing the happenings of my own home, it wasn't that; yesterday was suppose to be relatives day..and friends day another day, say Wednesday or Thursday, so I thought. Apparently there was so much food and the thought of doing a double shift was more than enough to make me call anyone I could.

My apologies if I was a bad host. Tried my best to spend time with everyone I could.

And mainly thanks alot for coming and eating the food! The more eaten the better. The more leftover I have, the longer it becomes my daily appeasing...and well while the food's good, eating rendang, briyani, etc every meal for a week isn't really fun..trust me, ive done it before.

So thanks again for coming! And if you'll excuse me now, im off to find a weighing scale. I feel extremely beefy now..and I swear im the heaviest ive ever been..I shudder at the thought of all the working out I need to resume..and did I just say beefy? Mmmm I haven't eaten lunch yet..mmm beef..

16 Things To Do On The 16th

This is what my day is shaping up to be :

• Run errands for my dad
• Run errands for my mom
• Visit MMS recruitment drive at Mainblock
• Talk to Isabelle about that writing thing
• Chair prom meeting
• Write proposal for Clement for the busking thing on the 30th
• Try and get a light workout
• Get gas (or I aint gonna get no place)
• Update self on personal funds
• Go for marketing class (oh the things I do for *ahem*)
• Learn up bass tabs for jamming on Thursday
• Get more stuff sorted out for prom..teasers, sponsorships etc
• Go for Nadia & Alyshea's birthday party @ Dutavista
• Get back my Importance of Being Earnest book from Jon!
• Go for Ryan's farewell in Taman Tun
• Buy stuff, presents for them?

And there's proly more unforseen but soon to be revealed things to do..

So if you think your day is going to be bad, then well..think again. But dont worry about me; I like my days like this.

Oh Crepe!

I really didnt feel like blogging tonight or even coming online and since the date occurs every few millennia, then well..why not..I could and later the dates but I guess it wouldnt quite feel right.

I spent the day..running around..yay..Prom meeting at 12, Mms at around the same time which I made a short cameo but it was mainly prom prom prom and more prom issues today and I have a headache..the painless but ever lasting one..argghh at least things are 3 weeks ahead of last year. Good sign I hope?

I left college for a while to run some errands around Bangsar and go back to college for marketing and I had like a 15 minute nap in the car before that which was nice but not long enough..

Then after class The Penang Girl and I headed to The Gardens for Krispy Kreme & dinner..Pastis ( the place outside Isetan which always has 50% off on its whatever their cake of the month is and am suppose to go with Jon but havent ( 5 months running)), has this promo which after 7pm get 2 main courses and the cheaper one is free..so I had some crepe which was alright..nothing special but plenty of salad and the chicken was pretty tender..so go check it out..cost something like Rm25 because of the deal which is pretty cheap considering its all cafe styled health food ish stuff for 2 people..

Met Eunice and her mom there..in fact she told me about the promo in the first place..will drop by with her before she goes back to Warwick..saw Francis too..not sure which of his kids he was with..I think it was Kylie cause I think Ethan is pretty big now..4 I think?

Anyway after that..and some chocolate we then found how odd Tropicana City Mall's traffic system was cause I was dropping her there..and there's place called Bad Ass Coffee! And its got a Donkey as a mascot! I wanna try it!! Any takers :D??

And the I headed to Jon's house for donuts..and coffee..I brought some and he had some too. First time trying Malaysia's Krispy Kreme..not bad but good god so sugary! Later tonight im gonna have a huge glass of milk. Diabetes is calling me & Jon. We gotta thank Adrian though; all my donuts were the normal sugar glazed, he left a box of assorted ones.

And well I now im home..and thats how my 09/09/09 went..long day of running around and consuming healthy and unhealthy food..And since im real nice, I shall leave some quotes from today. Enjoy!

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At 12pm before our meeting..

Me : Where you going?

Ecka : To move my car

Me : Ok..and you?

Ernest : To uhhh..move his car..

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On Law Suits..

Me : You know how Bill talked about 'pressing law suits' in class?

Yee Mun : Yeah?

Me : You know what I was thinking? Ironing a suit..which you use for law purposes!! Get it? Pressing law suits? hhahahahahhaha

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On Seeing Bad Ass Coffee

Me : Hey its a cow

Yee Mun : No its a donkey..you get it? Bad Ass :D???

Me : HAHAHAH I must try that place one day..

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On leaving Jon's house..

Jon : Ok if you want to go now then shake hands now

Me : Why?

Jon : I need to go toilet la wei omg its getting painful ciao ciao ask my sister to get the gate for you!!

Me : Ok ciao..

A few minutes later I went outside the toilet door to create some havoc..

Me : AWWW ewwww argghhh get me a gas mask!

Jon : (From inside) Eh shut up la im trying to minimize the sound effects!

Me : Eeee aaaa arggh oh no!

Jon : Eh fuck you la go home bitch!

I hope everyone had a good 09/09/09 too!